2008 Woodie Awards
Playin Field: The best at what?
A look into the world's weirdest championships
Todd Hermann
Issue date: 4/23/08 Section: Sports
So the other day, I was watching the movie Beerfest, and in it saw middle-aged men with no particular athletic ability win a world championship. Afterwards, I was wondering what other opportunities existed for people without skills in conventional athletics to win a national or world championship. As it turns out, opportunities abound for people with odd skill sets. For example, for all the women out there with pent up aggression, there is the Pillow Fight League. Female fighters with names like Boozy Suzy, Mickey Dismantle and Ursula Anvil wail on each other with pillows in order to claim the PFL World Championship.
But of course, this is an equal opportunity column, and if I offer up a world championship for women, I must put one in for the males. And so for all the hairy men of the world, there is the WBMC, better known as the World Beard and Mustache Championships. Contestants take part in events such as Moustache Freestyle, Chinese Partial Beards, and of course, the Natural Full Beard with Styled Moustache. For those wishing to enter the WBMC (the next of which will happen May 23, 2009 in Anchorage, Alaska), contact Beard Team USA, which is looking to gain more ground on perennial favorite Germany.
Realistically though, many of the men here at Colby do not grow very much facial hair, and the women with pent up aggression are smart enough to join the rugby team or something. What kind of competition exists for the average, everyday college student? Why, it's the National Texting Championship, sponsored of course by mobile technology giant LG. In the most recent contest, hundreds of participants competed using identical phones, and showed off their ability to move their thumbs with incredible speed and pinpoint accuracy. The champion, a 13-year-old girl, took home and a whopping $25,000 prize. Obviously, the 8,000 text messages she estimates she sends every month must have been sufficient practice. But many of us, like myself, do not have unlimited text messages, and would have no chance in a competition like this. Still, there are more championships to enter.
But of course, this is an equal opportunity column, and if I offer up a world championship for women, I must put one in for the males. And so for all the hairy men of the world, there is the WBMC, better known as the World Beard and Mustache Championships. Contestants take part in events such as Moustache Freestyle, Chinese Partial Beards, and of course, the Natural Full Beard with Styled Moustache. For those wishing to enter the WBMC (the next of which will happen May 23, 2009 in Anchorage, Alaska), contact Beard Team USA, which is looking to gain more ground on perennial favorite Germany.
Realistically though, many of the men here at Colby do not grow very much facial hair, and the women with pent up aggression are smart enough to join the rugby team or something. What kind of competition exists for the average, everyday college student? Why, it's the National Texting Championship, sponsored of course by mobile technology giant LG. In the most recent contest, hundreds of participants competed using identical phones, and showed off their ability to move their thumbs with incredible speed and pinpoint accuracy. The champion, a 13-year-old girl, took home and a whopping $25,000 prize. Obviously, the 8,000 text messages she estimates she sends every month must have been sufficient practice. But many of us, like myself, do not have unlimited text messages, and would have no chance in a competition like this. Still, there are more championships to enter.
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