The Colby Echo

Issue date: 3/9/07 Section: Opinions

Rhode Island, with a population of approximately one million and its relatively small size, is the smallest state in the nation. Being a Rhode Islandah, I am aware of the statistics and the conclusions that some people may feel compelled to make, even though history shows that size is no indicator of stature. I do not lash out against the facts.

However, if I hear one more person ask me which part of New York Rhode Island is in, I cannot be responsible for the consequences. I can deal with the facts. Rhode Island is not a road, nor an Island, blah blah blah. In short, Little Rhody does not get the recognition that it deserves for its rich history and progressive residents. So, if I may, let's talk some history.

To all of you literalists out there, Rhode Island was indeed named for an Island, and let's call it Aquidneck Island. Being a resident of aforementioned island, I do indeed have to take a bridge whenever I want to leave, thus reaffirming its status as an island.

Roger Williams, arguably one of the greatest humanists who has ever lived, founded Rhode Island in 1644 after he was banished from Mass Bay for ideas "new" and "disturbing". I have nothing against Massachusetts; their Senator makes me laugh and they invented a new driving lane next to the highway in the interests of efficiency. That being said, it seems that Williams' banishment could have waited until the New England winter was over before he was forced to forge a new life for himself and his family. It is pertinent to note that for an alleged ruffian and abominable separatist, he purchased land from the Narragansett Indians, whereas the policy in the surrounding areas (for privacy issues let's call it Fonnecticut) was seizure by force.

Some may say that nothing productive is generated in Rhode Island. Well let's take a gander in the past. Rhode Island was the first state to renounce British citizenship, and sanctified their defiance with the burning of two British ships. No major battle during the Revolutionary War was fought on Rhode Island land (because we are after all peace-loving people), but Rhode Island regiments were still present at every major battle. General Washington's second-in-command was Nathaniel Greene, a resident of Rhode Island. Gilbert Stuart, also a Rhody resident, was the foremost painter of Washington portraits (including the one on the $1 bill). Furthermore, Rhode Island was the last state to ratify the Constitution due to concerns for civil liberties. In a historical nutshell, Rhode Island is the first to recognize injustice, and the last to forsake human rights.

We are small, our former mayor of Providence is in federal prison, and our former governor was found un-suspiciously searching for a brown bag full of money at the local dump. Additionally, during that awkward adjustment period in the mid-17th century, the state was kind of a breeding ground for a motley assortment of miscreants. Those minute details aside, what we lack in size and political prudence, we make up for in unbridled personality. We haven't done anything really really badass like invent the dictionary (that was Connecticut in 1783), but we can make a mean bowl of chowdah.

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