The Colby Echo

Issue date: 2/23/07 Section: Opinions

I have a confession to make. I have no idea what to write about. This is probably a bad sign as I'm barely halfway through my year of compulsory weekly columns as Opinions Editor. I'm hoping this is just a one-week slump and I'll find myself newly inspired as next Sunday's deadline rolls around.

So, instead of writing a column about not being able to write a column (which is the idea I-and every other columnist ever-have saved for another case of writer's block), I decided to conduct an informal survey. I surveyed a wide variety of Colby students: male, female, freshman to senior (the only constant was that they were all my friends and happened to be in Miller eight hours after my deadline). The question: "What would you like to read about in my column this week?"

One response: "Write about how PPD needs to get a move on with plowing the student parking lots." The rest, overwhelmingly: "Sex...love...relationships...sex."

I'm no Carrie Bradshaw. In fact, I usually pretend that I don't go on Sex and the City binge fests every time I go home and have access to HBO On Demand. I don't want to write a column about relationships-if anyone else does, however, want to write about hickey removal or how the man pool severely diminishes at such a small school by senior year when you or your friends have already hooked up with every eligible bachelor in your class, send me an e-mail. I don't want my journalistic "integrity" damaged. I'm above writing about fluff like sex.

Maybe not.

Because I do have some things to say on the subject (as a disclaimer, for sake of phonetic ease, this column is addressed to heterosexual couples, but applies to all). In fact, I bet we all do.

So, Colby College, I suggest we all have a conversation about what we want from our undergraduate love-lives.

The traditional assumption is that at Colby one only has the choice between random hook-ups and marriage-esque relationships. It is further assumed that girls prefer the attached-at-the-hip style courtship (ignore the antics of many girls at dances for argument's sake), while guys have no desire to see a girl again after the morning-after.

Most of the people-guys and girls-I've spoken with find themselves somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. A female chemistry major told me she had no time for a real "relationship," while a male sophomore bugged me for date ideas.

Date?

True story: the middle of this spectrum is called "dating." It probably sounds foreign to many of us (I always conjure up a fifties sock-hop or something), but we could always try it out here. How great would it be if upon realizing you have a thing for a special someone you just tell them. Instead of calculating a "just-in-case" sexiling plan with your roommate and hoping to end up drunk at the same party with a certain cutie, why can't you just ask them to go to dinner (at the Last Unicorn, or perhaps even Foss, with its convenient mange-a-deux booths in the back)?

Okay, maybe dating is passé, but being upfront about things doesn't have to be. Today is Friday-by next Friday, make a move. Ask someone you're interested in-you don't have to be in love with him-to hang out (sober) next week. Let that sweet girl know you think she's great. Trust me, this thought makes me cringe for fear of rejection too, but we could consider it a mass social experiment.

Think about how improved our collective standard of living would be. I know a lot of really, really great single people at this school-imagine how wonderful it would be if we could just all be great together.

P.S. Dad, Mom, Grandma-This column is purely hypothetical. All I do up here is study, really.

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