The Colby Echo

Issue date: 2/9/07 Section: Opinions

Most of you are (as we say in Maine) "from away," and you are not about to pick up the Central Maine Morning Sentinel (hereafter the Sentinel) every morning before you romp off to your classes in the new Diamond Building. You might look at the New York Times if you look at anything-well, maybe the Boston Globe. Some even have delivery at the dorm door, but rarely of the Sentinel.

But I've lived in Waterville for 36 years, and the Sentinel is my hometown newspaper. It's been over fifty years since I used to write the "High School Notes" feature in the Aberdeen [SD] American News, and I have transferred my loyalties to the Sentinel; I read it every morning because it gives me at least one laugh every issue, sometimes several.

My fellow reader, comrade-in-arms David Mills, who directs the speech and debate program at Colby, is even more addicted to the Sentinel, but he was an undergraduate here in the Fifties. So it's "his" newspaper as well. I am profoundly grateful to Mills, who will call me about a particularly amusing piece-be it in the news columns or an editorial. Or better still, the "Letters to the Editor" and/or the news from the local courts.

Because, hey, you thought your brush with the law locally would never be noted by strangers other than Waterville's law enforcement officials. Wrong! There you are, under "Court," fined for "minor possessing liquor," the hometown to follow usually suggesting your status as a Colby student. Readers can figure out who got busted on 1 December because the miscreants are from Westwood, MA or Somerville, MA. If one had any doubt, there's always the Colby Directory.
And Professors Sandy Maisel and Joe Reisert write dueling political opinions every week. Almost always interesting, but not funny.

On the other hand, who cares who pays the $200 fines that are standard for underage drinking? The boozer has just acquired a foamy badge of courage, and the only ones really put out are Mom and Dad, the payers. Mills doesn't cover sports, so I have to come up with my own howlers there. Like basketball scores: Forest Hills 60, Averill 7. That's SEVEN! Or Rangely 39, Hebron 8. Getting closer.

Under a huge headline, an account of the Messalonskee (Oakland)-Lawrence (Fairfield) basketball battle, an event of some regional interest. "Taylor's late heroics lift Eagles to win over Bulldogs," the Sentinel shouts. These are two local rivals, the Oakland Eagles' record at 7-1. Messalonskee prevailed 30-29. That's hard to believe if you're from, say, Boston, but we're modest on the rim in central Maine.

My favorite for sheer weirdness in the Sentinel was this recent story "compiled from wire reports." Datelined Phoenix, it tells us of the adventures of Neil Havens Rodreick II, who enrolled in the seventh grade and did his homework, pretending to be 12 years old. Arrested for assaulting a girl, Rodreick turned out to be 29; the Mingus Springs Charter School allowed him in for a day before the cops got him.

Worse than one would have thought possible, eh? Worse than the piece on ROGUE SQUIRRELS I remarked on earlier this year in the Echo. You should really check out the Sentinel. Who knows how old the editors are.

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